sorry I had to remove the original post.
removed...
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 BBgirll |
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Posts: 361 (11/21/08 04:47:17) |
Last Edited By: BBgirll 11/21/08 12:20:06.
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timberandtwigs2001 |
I dont' agree with the councelor | ||
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Posts: 2052 (11/21/08 08:36:00) |
I think this is a topic too big for most adults to grasp. I am glad he has been apprehended. This way you can rest easy that he won't be back.
I'm not sure what reaction the councelor would have anticipated. This has been a devastating situation and with all the adjustments this little one has had to make, I have no clue why she would have been included in this adult information. |
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BBgirll |
not included... | ||
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Posts: 362 (11/21/08 11:41:40) |
I knew a few days before she did, my eldest knew as well because she found out at school. Although she was shielded from people hounding for information, she was asked by friends at school and one thing led to another. It was public knowledge so it wasnt long before she found out and hell broke loose.
Last Edited By: BBgirll
11/21/08 12:21:58.
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timberandtwigs2001 |
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Posts: 2053 (11/22/08 02:46:29) |
I guess I would warp my elation into this, "oh, I am so very happy that they finally found your dad so that he can get all the help he needs."
She doesn't see him as a criminal. We know the horror of what he did but a little girl can't grasp the gravity of it. I wouldn't present him as a criminal to her or that this apprehension is a bad thing. It is a fine line to walk for sure. You don't want her thinking what he did is ok, but if you , the news or the kids at school make him appear like a monster, she will try to protect him. She loves and was dependent on this man for most of her life. Whatever her life included with him is her baseline of normal. Once that dependence was established firmly, he then left her on a strangers doorstep. You were that stranger. The commonality of it is that for all of you, it will be your lifes greatest horror and your lifes biggest blessing. I would explain things to her in such a way that it makes it all good news for her, for now. "Wasn't it so nice of daddy to bring you here?" "Boy, I am so glad daddy is going to get some help being happy now." Truth wihout compassion can be cruel. What does this little girl need in her head? She wants to know that daddy is ok. She wants to know that no one hates daddy and that he isn't in trouble. Her little brain can't handle the unfiltered truth. I would not focus on him taking her away. I would focus on him bringing her back. Adults have the ability to make up stories where everyone is a hero and all the news is good news. I have made reference to a story called," Jacob the Liar". Jacob was a Jewish prisoner among thousands. He watched as the people around him were horrifed with fear as they watched there family member herded off, they were starving and became hopeless. Jacob kept them going when they became hopeless by alledging he had a radio. He told them that the radio said help was on the way. He fed them morsels of information that kept that hope alive. He was a liar. He didn't have a radio. |
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