Hi Guys and Gals.
I felt like venting a bit and this is my favorite place to do it, so here it goes:
A week ago today I got laid off from my job. Right before Christmas. My heart sank like never before.
I thought I had found the perfect job for me FINALLY! I was so excited. The people I worked with were great, the work was exactly what I love to do, the clients were awesome and everything seemed wonderful. Well, everything but the economy.
The job I had was working with car dealerships and we know how the economy is right now. The company decided to lay off the last 3 people it had hired, I of course was one of those last 3 people.
Now it seems that things in my life are just snowballing out of control. I try to take a deep breath and think things through, but they just seemed to get mixed up, turned around and jumbled to where my mind is spinning in all directions. I'm going to list out everything that is going on and see if that helps.
Well, I mentioned I lost my job. I have a several places set up interviews with me, which is a good thing, except the fact that they are all for a week or two away. It is because of the holidays and because they are looking at bringing people in for January, not December. I need a job now, I need to make my rent and bills for next month. I am almost in a panic.
I know I should be better prepared for these things and so that adds to the frustration I am having. It's like I am always 1 or 2 paydays away from getting back where I should be. When I think I can reach out and grasp it, something happens, like me losing my job.
Things I am frustrated over: (Some of which I am trying desperately to change, others I just have to suck it up and go with it)
My daughter finally moved back home about a week or two ago. She had made the decision to go stay with her real father and his wife. The reasoning was good, but it turned into a nightmare. I didn't have enough money to bring her home and they were broke after a month, so I was sending them what money I could spare, which ended up leaving me living from payday to payday again instead of saving. She was pregnant with her second child and only a few months away from having the baby, this is the same daughter who has the diabetic 3 year old. If you want more details on this just say so. I am in the mood to write forever and get things straight in my head.
My 20 year old son, who still lives at home doesn't have a job either. Why not? Well it is a combination of things. First it was because he had issues with his brother being away in the army. They were very very close and he went through a depression when his brother left. After he dealt with the depression, he just didn't want a job. It was kind of like an aftershock of the depression. He and his friends got in to trouble (they stole a decorative side walk light) and he got arrested. I finally had enough with everything going on and put my foot down. Get a job or move out. Enough was enough, he is 20 years old and has had 1 job since he was 18 and that only lasted about 3 months. Now he is getting his act together somewhat. He gets up and applies for jobs, go out and turns in his resume. He gets calls weekly. He has been on countless interviews, but when they do a back ground check and see that he has a theft charge, they tell him sorry, we can't hire you.
Everyone keeps telling him to get a lawyer and get it expunged from his record. Well that is a delightful idea, but where do we get the money? My bank account is at zero, he has no job, I have no job.... people do not seem to understand that we don't have money. They seem to think that we can just pay for a lawyer out of thin air, that the money will fall from the trees.
He finally has a job interview again on Monday. The guy said he will be able to work with the theft charge on his record, that he will start out contract and it won't be an issue. We have heard this about a half dozen times or more now. I have a hard time getting excited.
Let's move on to what I call my Kindof-Sortof Son. I think I have complained about this before and it is still an growing issue. Right now there are 3 people that live in my house, 4 if you count my kindof-sortof son. My daughter's baby calls him J.J. so I will too.
He has been my sons' best friend for about 10 or 11 years. Overall he is not a bad kid. Doesn't get in to trouble and doesn't really cause problems.
So what it the problem? Well for the past 10 or 11 years he is ALWAYS around. He is 20 years old now. Since the day my boys have met him he has always been at our house. 10 years ago he was in school with my boys. Every weekend he spent the night at our house, every spring break, summer break, holiday break.... he stayed at our house. It was if the weekend or holiday came and he moved in.
At current time because of issues he has lost his green card and can not find a "real" job. He and his mom are working on getting his citizenship. They have been doing it since I have known them.
At first, when my oldest son was still at home and not in the army, it wasn't a bad thing. He was like my boys, when they cooked, cleaned or anything else, so did he. Then my oldest son went to the army and he got a job. The visits moved to just weekends only when he was off of work.
That all changed when he lost his job not quite a year ago. At that time they revoked his greencard, and he got laid off all about the same time.
For the last 5 months he has been jobless and won't look for any time of work blaming that he doesn't have a green card and that the government has not released his SSN for work. This is a load of bull to say it as nice as I can right now. How many people in America do we have working with out green cards or SSNs? Anyhow, he completely moved in with us. I don't mean he said, "Hey can I move in with you?" he just started spending the night every night. He eats at our house, sleeps at our house and sit around all night playing games and watching television, and then he sleeps all day. This went on from May of this year until the beginning of November. I kept saying the need to move back to his mothers and such but he would not take me serious. He claimed he didn't really live with us because he keeps his clothes at his mothers and goes to her house every 2-3 days to take a shower. At that time I tried to gently nudge him back to his mother's house and wasn't very forceful. At the end of November, when my oldest son came home for his visit and then headed back to IRAQ, I had had enough. I packed up all his games, movies and everything else he had and placed it by the kitchen door. When he came from his mom's house from taking a shower, he found all of it. I was at work.
He had no choice but to load it up and go back to his mom's house. I felt a sense of relief. My son and daughter that live at home were sad about what I had done, but I explained I could not continue to support him, I was going broke.
Since November he continues to bring his stuff back every few days or so and basically tries to move back in. I have told him I can not afford for him to live here, but he doesn't get it. He knows I lost my job, he knows I am broke, but he still continues to bring his stuff and stay. I feel like I am at my witts end! 2 days ago I got up and found him sleeping on my couch. His computer was hooked up in the other room and the circle repeats itself over and over. I woke him up, told him to go home. He got up and left, came back 2 hours later after he took a shower. I was making breakfast, he helps himself to food on the stove and stuff from the fridge. I sent him home again yesterday. Today I am sure he will be back.
How much more do I need to do to get him to quit trying to live here? I don't mind him visiting with the kids, but the moment he comes to visit for any amount of time, I have to tell him to leave or he will just stay there. He will not physically get up and leave unless I tell him to do so.
With me losing my job and being broke, even my youngest son, who is 20 has told him about eating food and staying over. He has told him to leave on several occassions. He does it in a nice way, but is like trying to explain over and over we can't afford to feed him, that he can't help himself to our groceries... etc. My daughter that lives at home is 17, she is getting past the point of being nice to him. I hate to see her get rude with anyone, this is not her nature, but she is, as well as all of us, are frustrated he won't take us seriously.
This of course causes other issues. My oldest daughter and I have suspected that he has feelings for my 17 year old. He is 20, which is a little of stretch in age, but since they have known each other for 10 years or so, not really a strange thing. My 17 year old has no feelings for him at all. She sees him as a brother more than anything, but he... well he is different with her. Whe had a job, he would buy her things, ask her if she wanted to go to the mall shopping, take her and pay for things. At first she thought he was just being like a brother because that is what her 2 other brothers do. They have always been that way with her. Well... I guess that is another story, but it is frustrating all around.
So, this is where I stand. No job. No Chritmas, no money.... a kid who can't take the hint. Oh.. least I forget the little dog.
Yup, my oldest daughter finally moved back home. She and her husband are staying with his mother. But she has a little dog that they can't keep over there because her MIL has dogs of her own. Well she shows up on my door step with this little dog (I was at work at the time) and drops it off for us to watch until they get their own place.
I don't want anyone to think I am mean because really do love animals. I am just not a small dog person. AT ALL. I don't like cats either, but then some people don't. I was raised around working dogs, herding cattle... ranch dogs and such. I was never around small dogs. I know people love them, I know they love to dress them up.... it baffles the crap out of me. When I had big dogs they were awesome, they had a purpose, or even when I moved to the city, I can do big dogs, but little dogs... I want to scream.
Don't get me wrong. I am very nice to the little dog. I buy it food, make sure it has water, take if for walks, let it sit by me on the couch when I watch TV. With all that said... I can not stand it's whinning, yapping, pouncing......UGH!
My daughter leaves for school it whines for like 2 hours. I try to pet it and let is sit with me, but it continues to whine. With any sound at all it barks its head off. I open the cupboard door it barks, I close the cupboard door it barks, I turn the tv on it barks, I shut the tv off it barks, the computer makes a noise it barks..... it barks at EVERYTHING!!
My son tried to help. He lets it sit in his lap, he pets it, talks to it... takes it for walks. Nothing helps! I must admit my son does not like little dogs either. I know you all are going to tell me poor little dog and how the dog knows we don't like it. But we are really trying.
And not to mention that at the time she brought it over I did have a job and I went and got it dog toys and everything. In the last week it has chewed everything in sight it can find. Everything but its toys we bought, I should say. We have to watch it constantly. It chewed the corner of my carpet, it chewed the corner of my couch, it has chewed up the my daughters cable to her mouse on her computer, a set of head phones with a microphone I used when I was working and needed to work from home. It has chewed through network cables and other computer cables. It jumps on the couch and on the tables and knocks everything over and makes a mess.
Reading back through this post, I know it seems like I am being bitchy. And right now I feel like a bitch. It is just one of those times when I feel like things are spinning out of control and I can't stop it. I try to fix one thing and something else goes wrong. My son in IRAQ needs things to be sent to him, I don't have the money. He can't access his bank account hardly ever cause they are always out on mission. I feel bad about this too.
Tell me to shut up and quit whinning and suck it up. Tell me what you think. Tell me how to fix things. Or tell me nothing at all.
But most of all.... thanks for letting me vent.
FHB
I felt like venting a bit and this is my favorite place to do it, so here it goes:
A week ago today I got laid off from my job. Right before Christmas. My heart sank like never before.
I thought I had found the perfect job for me FINALLY! I was so excited. The people I worked with were great, the work was exactly what I love to do, the clients were awesome and everything seemed wonderful. Well, everything but the economy.
The job I had was working with car dealerships and we know how the economy is right now. The company decided to lay off the last 3 people it had hired, I of course was one of those last 3 people.
Now it seems that things in my life are just snowballing out of control. I try to take a deep breath and think things through, but they just seemed to get mixed up, turned around and jumbled to where my mind is spinning in all directions. I'm going to list out everything that is going on and see if that helps.
Well, I mentioned I lost my job. I have a several places set up interviews with me, which is a good thing, except the fact that they are all for a week or two away. It is because of the holidays and because they are looking at bringing people in for January, not December. I need a job now, I need to make my rent and bills for next month. I am almost in a panic.
I know I should be better prepared for these things and so that adds to the frustration I am having. It's like I am always 1 or 2 paydays away from getting back where I should be. When I think I can reach out and grasp it, something happens, like me losing my job.
Things I am frustrated over: (Some of which I am trying desperately to change, others I just have to suck it up and go with it)
My daughter finally moved back home about a week or two ago. She had made the decision to go stay with her real father and his wife. The reasoning was good, but it turned into a nightmare. I didn't have enough money to bring her home and they were broke after a month, so I was sending them what money I could spare, which ended up leaving me living from payday to payday again instead of saving. She was pregnant with her second child and only a few months away from having the baby, this is the same daughter who has the diabetic 3 year old. If you want more details on this just say so. I am in the mood to write forever and get things straight in my head.
My 20 year old son, who still lives at home doesn't have a job either. Why not? Well it is a combination of things. First it was because he had issues with his brother being away in the army. They were very very close and he went through a depression when his brother left. After he dealt with the depression, he just didn't want a job. It was kind of like an aftershock of the depression. He and his friends got in to trouble (they stole a decorative side walk light) and he got arrested. I finally had enough with everything going on and put my foot down. Get a job or move out. Enough was enough, he is 20 years old and has had 1 job since he was 18 and that only lasted about 3 months. Now he is getting his act together somewhat. He gets up and applies for jobs, go out and turns in his resume. He gets calls weekly. He has been on countless interviews, but when they do a back ground check and see that he has a theft charge, they tell him sorry, we can't hire you.
Everyone keeps telling him to get a lawyer and get it expunged from his record. Well that is a delightful idea, but where do we get the money? My bank account is at zero, he has no job, I have no job.... people do not seem to understand that we don't have money. They seem to think that we can just pay for a lawyer out of thin air, that the money will fall from the trees.
He finally has a job interview again on Monday. The guy said he will be able to work with the theft charge on his record, that he will start out contract and it won't be an issue. We have heard this about a half dozen times or more now. I have a hard time getting excited.
Let's move on to what I call my Kindof-Sortof Son. I think I have complained about this before and it is still an growing issue. Right now there are 3 people that live in my house, 4 if you count my kindof-sortof son. My daughter's baby calls him J.J. so I will too.
He has been my sons' best friend for about 10 or 11 years. Overall he is not a bad kid. Doesn't get in to trouble and doesn't really cause problems.
So what it the problem? Well for the past 10 or 11 years he is ALWAYS around. He is 20 years old now. Since the day my boys have met him he has always been at our house. 10 years ago he was in school with my boys. Every weekend he spent the night at our house, every spring break, summer break, holiday break.... he stayed at our house. It was if the weekend or holiday came and he moved in.
At current time because of issues he has lost his green card and can not find a "real" job. He and his mom are working on getting his citizenship. They have been doing it since I have known them.
At first, when my oldest son was still at home and not in the army, it wasn't a bad thing. He was like my boys, when they cooked, cleaned or anything else, so did he. Then my oldest son went to the army and he got a job. The visits moved to just weekends only when he was off of work.
That all changed when he lost his job not quite a year ago. At that time they revoked his greencard, and he got laid off all about the same time.
For the last 5 months he has been jobless and won't look for any time of work blaming that he doesn't have a green card and that the government has not released his SSN for work. This is a load of bull to say it as nice as I can right now. How many people in America do we have working with out green cards or SSNs? Anyhow, he completely moved in with us. I don't mean he said, "Hey can I move in with you?" he just started spending the night every night. He eats at our house, sleeps at our house and sit around all night playing games and watching television, and then he sleeps all day. This went on from May of this year until the beginning of November. I kept saying the need to move back to his mothers and such but he would not take me serious. He claimed he didn't really live with us because he keeps his clothes at his mothers and goes to her house every 2-3 days to take a shower. At that time I tried to gently nudge him back to his mother's house and wasn't very forceful. At the end of November, when my oldest son came home for his visit and then headed back to IRAQ, I had had enough. I packed up all his games, movies and everything else he had and placed it by the kitchen door. When he came from his mom's house from taking a shower, he found all of it. I was at work.
He had no choice but to load it up and go back to his mom's house. I felt a sense of relief. My son and daughter that live at home were sad about what I had done, but I explained I could not continue to support him, I was going broke.
Since November he continues to bring his stuff back every few days or so and basically tries to move back in. I have told him I can not afford for him to live here, but he doesn't get it. He knows I lost my job, he knows I am broke, but he still continues to bring his stuff and stay. I feel like I am at my witts end! 2 days ago I got up and found him sleeping on my couch. His computer was hooked up in the other room and the circle repeats itself over and over. I woke him up, told him to go home. He got up and left, came back 2 hours later after he took a shower. I was making breakfast, he helps himself to food on the stove and stuff from the fridge. I sent him home again yesterday. Today I am sure he will be back.
How much more do I need to do to get him to quit trying to live here? I don't mind him visiting with the kids, but the moment he comes to visit for any amount of time, I have to tell him to leave or he will just stay there. He will not physically get up and leave unless I tell him to do so.
With me losing my job and being broke, even my youngest son, who is 20 has told him about eating food and staying over. He has told him to leave on several occassions. He does it in a nice way, but is like trying to explain over and over we can't afford to feed him, that he can't help himself to our groceries... etc. My daughter that lives at home is 17, she is getting past the point of being nice to him. I hate to see her get rude with anyone, this is not her nature, but she is, as well as all of us, are frustrated he won't take us seriously.
This of course causes other issues. My oldest daughter and I have suspected that he has feelings for my 17 year old. He is 20, which is a little of stretch in age, but since they have known each other for 10 years or so, not really a strange thing. My 17 year old has no feelings for him at all. She sees him as a brother more than anything, but he... well he is different with her. Whe had a job, he would buy her things, ask her if she wanted to go to the mall shopping, take her and pay for things. At first she thought he was just being like a brother because that is what her 2 other brothers do. They have always been that way with her. Well... I guess that is another story, but it is frustrating all around.
So, this is where I stand. No job. No Chritmas, no money.... a kid who can't take the hint. Oh.. least I forget the little dog.
Yup, my oldest daughter finally moved back home. She and her husband are staying with his mother. But she has a little dog that they can't keep over there because her MIL has dogs of her own. Well she shows up on my door step with this little dog (I was at work at the time) and drops it off for us to watch until they get their own place.
I don't want anyone to think I am mean because really do love animals. I am just not a small dog person. AT ALL. I don't like cats either, but then some people don't. I was raised around working dogs, herding cattle... ranch dogs and such. I was never around small dogs. I know people love them, I know they love to dress them up.... it baffles the crap out of me. When I had big dogs they were awesome, they had a purpose, or even when I moved to the city, I can do big dogs, but little dogs... I want to scream.
Don't get me wrong. I am very nice to the little dog. I buy it food, make sure it has water, take if for walks, let it sit by me on the couch when I watch TV. With all that said... I can not stand it's whinning, yapping, pouncing......UGH!
My daughter leaves for school it whines for like 2 hours. I try to pet it and let is sit with me, but it continues to whine. With any sound at all it barks its head off. I open the cupboard door it barks, I close the cupboard door it barks, I turn the tv on it barks, I shut the tv off it barks, the computer makes a noise it barks..... it barks at EVERYTHING!!
My son tried to help. He lets it sit in his lap, he pets it, talks to it... takes it for walks. Nothing helps! I must admit my son does not like little dogs either. I know you all are going to tell me poor little dog and how the dog knows we don't like it. But we are really trying.
And not to mention that at the time she brought it over I did have a job and I went and got it dog toys and everything. In the last week it has chewed everything in sight it can find. Everything but its toys we bought, I should say. We have to watch it constantly. It chewed the corner of my carpet, it chewed the corner of my couch, it has chewed up the my daughters cable to her mouse on her computer, a set of head phones with a microphone I used when I was working and needed to work from home. It has chewed through network cables and other computer cables. It jumps on the couch and on the tables and knocks everything over and makes a mess.
Reading back through this post, I know it seems like I am being bitchy. And right now I feel like a bitch. It is just one of those times when I feel like things are spinning out of control and I can't stop it. I try to fix one thing and something else goes wrong. My son in IRAQ needs things to be sent to him, I don't have the money. He can't access his bank account hardly ever cause they are always out on mission. I feel bad about this too.
Tell me to shut up and quit whinning and suck it up. Tell me what you think. Tell me how to fix things. Or tell me nothing at all.
But most of all.... thanks for letting me vent.
FHB
